Today’s Daily Prompt on progress could not have come at a better time!

Today, after years of putting it off, I took my first little white drop of progress. I have been so adamant to tell people that my brain stuff is a real illness, yet I have resisted virtually every treatment I have been offered since first discussing it with a doctor as a teenager. Today was the “oh, f#@k it” moment I have been waiting for, and right now sitting in my corner thinking I am about to become violently ill is not so bad because there is actually a valid reason behind it for once.

The list of side-effects seems a lot longer after taking one than it did before.. Probably because I’ve read through it at least half a dozen times since and ran a few quick self-assessments to check everything’s still normal. Of course, nothing does feel normal now. I have put an unknown substance into my body without its permission and now my brain is going to throw into a nice tantrum and try to convince me that the world will end as a direct result of that tiny little pill.

This is the closest I have come to facing up to my fear of illness for a very long time and I am honestly not sure how I feel about it. Nervous and curious, I think, but with a lot of other things jumbled in.

I would certainly like to see progress arise from this by next year (i.e. not crying when an ambulance drives past with its siren on), but only time will tell…

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kansa muse
    Jan 02, 2014 @ 14:58:53

    That is a huge problem with meds. The side effects can be terrible but you need to go forward and try it for a while. Good luck!.


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