Silence.

The medication has taken my emotions, and it is a greater relief than I could ever describe. The hostility in me has fallen silent, the anger turned to calm, and the depression has become peace and the anxiety has turned to….well, stress, but can’t win them all. The fact it appears to have taken some emotions I quite liked is already showing me that this will not always feel so advantageous, but it is the reprieve I have begged and prayed for every day for almost two years.

I don’t write a lot here at the moment largely because I don’t feel like I am the same person who started this blog; though perpetually tired I have infinitely more energy than I did back in October, I have my motivation back, and I actually have some sort of plan for my life now. At five weeks it is still early days, but to have these effects already is magnificent and I am full of hope as to what the next few weeks will bring. Hopefully it’s still messing about and the favourable emotions will come back when my brain settles down again, the continued presence of vertigo and really vivid dreams implies that it’s all still a bit clumsy up there.

I would say I have returned to my pre-breakdown self, but I haven’t really. I am very different to her, and that is a good thing. Despite the hellish experience, I think I kinda needed it.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DysthymiaBree
    Feb 07, 2014 @ 20:50:03

    Rising from the ashes a transformed phoenix?

    Reply

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